January 6- Listening to my Word Of Promise Bible. Odd to hear Michael York reading Genesis when I saw him play the Antichrist in the TBN movies
January 23- I just had a chewy drink.
January 25- I can win at Madden! I can win at Madden! (still saying the same thing 11 months later).
February 11- Still seeing Puppy Bowl 10 commercials on the DVR. Just figured out why they bother me. The dogs were more competitive than the Broncos.
February 19- I feel like we will be wandering for 40 years just to find a Walmart employee. I wonder if manna will fall once a day while we look?
March 18- When I heard Steubenville, Ohio, I thought it was pronounced Stupidville. I thought, “What an awful name.” Oops.
April 21- Shelby just named one of her baby dolls “Jumper.” I hope she never works for a suicide hotline.
April 26- #HashTag #HashtagThePanda #HashBrowns #SayNoToHash #HashMarks#SlinginHash #HashCoding #HashFunction #HashOut#DontYouHateHashTagsNow
April 26- Was sitting here trying to pick up crumbs off the floor till I realized it wasn't food, but part of the carpet.
April 27- I have "Do You Want To Build A Snowman" stuck in my head. I thought it was because we have seen "Frozen" so many times at first. Then I got out from under the blankets and realized it was because the conditions are right to build a snowman in here. I think the reason some scientists claim we can't find the polar ice caps is not because they are melting away. It is because they moved into our apartment while we were asleep. Holly just adjusted the heat so all should be well soon though
April 29- Knicks executive wants an all black basketball league if I read that right? How is that any less racist than what Donald Sterling got fined and banned for?
May 5- If Paige and Sheamus ever got married, they would have babies so white, they would have to get tans just to be considered pale.
May 9- What does Al Sharpton call a jail cell full of white people? A cracker box.
May 14- I just found out WWE Superstar Darren Young blocked me from his Twitter page. That is awesome. I am actually proud of myself for that.
May 24- Ray Allen could make three’s from the front row while eating a snack during that fourth quarter.
May 25- What a sorry attempt at propping up a below-average NASCAR driver just because she is a woman. She has one top five finish, never won a race in the United States and definitely not in Nationwide or Sprint Cup, and her average qualifying position is 22nd. There is no way beyond a Heaven-sent miracle that this woman has a shot at winning the Coca-Cola 600. I get that everybody wants to see a woman succeed in a "man's sport." I wouldn't mind seeing her do well myself. However, how about someone take the time and find a woman who is more than just a pretty face who actually has the talent to win. And if she indeed does have the talent to win (which she may eventually have), how about waiting until she actually does win before artificially boosting her.
June 27- Stardust looks and acts like a Bibleman villain.
June 28- Before judging a person, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
June 28- What's worse? Unpleasant smell from a place nearby or the 5 year old that talks about how much the place stinks loud enough for all to hear? Something else funny happened while we were gone. A guy at Lowe's Foods looks at a rocking chair and goes "Is that made out of wood?" No sir, that's made of chocolate. Go ahead, take a bite.
July 13- Danica Patrick could win this race, if the 20 or so people in front of her run out of gas or wreck.
July 19- Hide-Go-Seek should be renamed “You Can’t See Me.”
September 9- Captain Planet he's a zero even though he wants to be a hero. Spray him with banned pesticide 'cause he's fighting on Rachel Carson's side #DDT #ThePowerIsYours
September 19- The NFL should replace the Washington Redskins with a new team called the Washington Criminals. It would end the controversy over the name. They could trade all players who don't have criminal records or pending charges for those who do. That way, these guys still have a chance to be in the league. And with the new name, the team could represent their city better and more accurately.
October 13- I was looking at a calendar for so long, it put me in a “days.”
October 30- Are the Oakland Raiders a football team or a comedy skit?
November 26- Indoor playground sound: “No climbing.” *Looks around at all the stuff built for climbing*
November 27- My Uncle David: “Is that ham kosher?” Shelby: “No! It’s from the store!”
December 25- No way. Christmas is trending! Who would have guessed?